I need a paper of this story, and it should be 500 words. Introduce this story first, then show some own opinion about this story, the opinion must relative to this story. Thanks.3. Which mang
Ehrenreich. Make your own marginal comments to demonstrate your
other comments might Your
4. Read “What I’ve learned from Men,” followme
active critical reading of the selection.
5. Write a brief essay on your view of the purpose of a college educa.
tion. Write a thesis and use examples to support your point.
return
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Readings for Writing
The selections that follow demonstrate how writers can use effective examples
to make a point
th
a
1
BARBARA EHRENREICH
What I’ve Learned from Men
For many years I believed that women had only one thing to learn from men: how to get
the attention of a waiter by some means short of kicking over the table and shrieking.
Never in my life have I gotten the attention of a waiter, unless it was an off-duty waiter
17:
Readings for Writing
whose car I’d accidentally
mon a maitre d’ just by thinking the word “coffee,” and this is a power women would
be well aclvised to study. What else would we possibly want to learn from them? How
to interrupt someone in mid-sentence as if you were performing an act of conversational
on walking? How to make those weird guttural gargling sounds in the bathroom?
euthanasia? How to
on this be
awe
No khoác
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ampla
So
but now, at mid-life, I am willing to admit there are some real and useful things to
learn from men. Not from all menin fact, we may have the most to learn from some of
the men we like the least. This realization does not mean that my feminist principles have
hage: what I think women could learn from men is how to get tough. After
more than a decade of consciousness-raising, assertiveness training, and hand-to-hand
combat in the battle of the sexes, we’re still too ladylike. Let me try that again – we’re just
too damn ladylike
Here is an example from my own experience, a story that I blush to recount. A few years
ago, at an international conference held in an exotic and luxurious setting, a prestigious
professor invited me to his room for what he said would be an intellectual discussion on
matters of theoretical importance. far, so good. I showed up promptly. But only minutes
into the conversation-held in all-too-adjacent chairs—it emerged that he was interested
in something more substantial than a meeting of minds. I was disgusted, but not enough
to overcome 30-odd years of programming in ladylikeness. Every time his comments took
a lecherous turn, I chattered distractingly, every time his hand found its way to my knee, I
returned it as if it were something he had misplaced. This went on for an unconscionable
period (as much as 20 minutes); then there was a minor scuffle, a dash for the door, and
with such matters as rape crisis counseling and sexual harassment at the workplace, hau
behaved like a ninny-or, as I now
e essence of ladylikeness is a persistent servility masked as “niceness.” For example,
when the person we are with is rude, aggressive, or emotionally
AwOL. (In the above
ex-
verbal encouragements (“So how did you feel about
mal” and so on) while the man, typically, says “Hamm.” Wherever we go, we’re perpetu-
smiling the on-cue smile, like the now-outmoded curtsy, being one of our culture’s
intele rituals of submission. We’re trained to feel embarrassed if we’re praised, but if we see
coming at us from miles down the road, we rush to acknowledge it. And when
I was oul-with
my
like
ample, I was so busy
almost forgot to take responsibility for myself.) In conversations with men, we do almost all
who throws out leading
that?” and
ally
and
s questions
we’re feeling aggressive or angry or resentiul, we just fighter sur smiles or turn them into
veful little moues. In short, we spend a great deal of time acting like wimps.
fikson facing down punk marauders in “The Road Warrior”… John Travolta swaggering
his way through the early scenes of “Saturday Night Fever” … or Marlon Brando shrug.
CHAPTER 9 Example
Readings for Wr
180
think, lies their fascination for us.
underscore
acting less
Credit is du
plan and it
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Finally,
general rul
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fundo mal
and, wher
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mind. An
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this crap
Or-
FOR W
they might just might have hurt someone’s feelings? No, of course not, and therein
Chatter aimlessly to keep the comversation going? Get all clutched up whenever they think
The attraction of the rough guy” is that he has–or at least seems to have what mos
of us lack, and that is an aura of power and control. In an article, feminist psychiatrist Jean
Baker Miller writes that a woman’s using self-determined power for herself is equivalent to
selfishness and destructiveness an equation that makes us want to avoid even the ap
pearance of pover. Miller cites cases of women who get depressed just when they’re on the
verge of success and of women who do succeed and then bury their achievement in self
deprecation. As an example, she describes one company’s periodic meetings to recognize
outstanding salespeople when a woman is asked to say a few words about her achievement,
she tends to say something like “Well, I really don’t know how it happened. I guess I was just
lucky this time.” In contrast, the men will cheerfully own up to the hard work, intelligence,
and so on, to which they owe their success. By putting herself down, a woman avoids feeling
brazenly powerful and potentially “selfish”; she also does the traditional lady’s work of trying
to make everyone else icel better “She’s not really so smart, after all, just lucky
So we might as well get a little tougher. And a good place to start is by cutting back on
the small acts of deference that we’ve been programmed to perform since girlhood. Like un-
necessary smiling. For many women-waitresses, flight attendants, receptionists–smiling is
an occupational requirement, but there’s no reason for anyone to go around grinning when
she’s not being paid for it. I’d suggest that we save our off-duty smiles for when we truly feel
like sharing them, and if you’re not sure what to do with your face in the meantime, study
Clint Eastwood’s expressions-both of them.
Along the same lines, I think women should stop taking responsibility for every human
interaction we engage in. In a social encounter with a woman, the average man can go 25
minutes saying nothing more than “You don’t say?” “Izzat so?” and, of course, “Hamm.
Why should we do all the work? By taking so much responsibility for making conversa-
tions go well, we act as if we had much more at stake in the encounter than the other
party and that gives him for her the power advantage. Every now and then, we deserve
to get more out of a conversation than we put into it I’d suggest not offering information
you’d rather not share (I’m really terrified that my sales plan won’t work”) and not, out of
sheer politeness, soliciting information you don’t really want (“Wherever did you get that
lovely tiel”). There will be pauses, but they don’t have to be awkward for you.
It is true that some, perhaps most, men will interpret any decrease in female deference
as a deliberate act of hostility. Omit the free smiles and perky conversation boosters and
someone is bound to ask, “Well, what’s come over you today?” For most of us, the first im-
pulse is to stare at our feet and make vague references
to a terminally ill aunt in Atlanta, but
we should have as much right to be taciturn as the average (male) taxi driver. If you’re taking
bothering you just stare back levelly and say, the international debt crisis, the arms race,
There are all kinds of ways to toughen up and potentially move up-at work, and I
leave the details to the purveyors of assertiveness training, But Jean Baker Miller’s study
1. Spec
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3. Wh
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9
or the death of God.
10
I was
earn
I wa
mot
181
Readings for Writing
11
underscores a fundamental principle that anyone can master on her own. We can stop
acting less capable than we actually are. For example, in the matter of taking credit when
credit is due, there’s a key difference between saying “1 was just lucky” and saying “I had a
plan and it worked.” If you take the credit you deserve you’re letting people know that you
were confident you’d succeed all along, and that you fully intend to do so again.
Finally, we may be able to learn something from men about what to do with anger. As a
general rule, women get irritated: men get mad. We make tight little smiles of lady-like exas-
fundo male tantrum, but women do need ways of expressing justified anger clearly, colorfully,
and, when necessary, crudely. If you’re not just irritated, but pissed off, it might help to say so.
1, for example, have rerun the scene with the prestigious professor many times in my
mind. And in my mind, I play it like Bogart. I start by moving my chair over to where !
can look the professor full in the face. I let him do the chattering, and when it becomes
evident that he has nothing serious to say, I lean back and cross my arms, just to let him
know that he’s wasting my time. I do not smile, neither do I nod encouragement. Nor, of
course, do I respond to his blandishments with apologetic shrugs and blushes. Then, at
the first flicker of lechery, I stand up and announce coolly, “All right, I’ve had enough of
this crap.” Then I walk out-slowly, deliberately, confidently. Just like a man.
Or-now that I think of il-just like a woman.
12
1:
FOR WRITING OR DISCUSSION
MyWriting
Lab
1. Specifically, what changes in their usual behavior does the writer think would be
beneficial for women?
2. Is the writer guilty of stereotyping men and women? Why or why not?
3. Why is the frequent use of humor so effective?
4. Write a paper using examples either to describe or to demonstrate the falsity of
a common male or female stereotype (the “strong, silent type,” “the computer
nerd,” the “jock,” the “dumb blonde,” the “schoolmarm,” and so on).
JOHN GRISHAM
Boxers, Briefs and Books
Batted my first steady paycheck watering rose bushes at a nursery for a dollar an ho…
I wasn’t always a lawyer or a novelist, and I’ve had my share of hard, dead-end jobs. I
I was in

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